Sacred Time

‎"For many of us, we're online in the evenings with our family sitting right there, and we're communicating with people we have never met face-to-face while our real life is happening next to us and we're completely disjointed from it." - Beth Moore

I don't know if you struggle like I do with having enough time for everyone, and everything I want to do. We can easily become rushed, and then not be fully present for the ones we love. We can physically show up, yet mentally be miles away, which creates an emotional & spiritual disconnect. Our loved ones deserve our undivided attention, which means it is just impossible to give everyone our unlimited attention and time. Setting Boundaries & Priorities, Budgeting & being Good Stewards of our Time is essential, so that we do not run out of time for the ones we love.

My hubby Christopher, and I have really been convicted on having Sanctified Time for our Family. The movie, Courageous, has made a wonderful impact on our life, and we resolved to dedicate our lives to do better which meant we had to have an honest, and humbling evaluation of what we have been doing, and how we can do improve, and do better. To paraphrase the main character in Courageous, I don't want to settle for being just a good enough parent, or a good enough spouse according to the word's standards. We want to welcome the Holy Spirit's Compassionate Conviction, and value it as a Blessing not a burden. When the Holy Spirit points out things to change it is to help us not hurt us.

One area of improvement is Dinner Time. We have allowed the world to invade our Sanctified Time together as a Family.  It begins with distractions, and small compromises that have worldly justifications which leads to the destruction of what is Sacred. Here is how the enemy covertly attacks to erode the Family Bond. Christopher works at his office from 8am to 6pm. He also freelances in advertising & marketing, so he works from home as well as at the office. In the past it was very common for him to spend the entire day working on projects, stoping to join us for a meal, yet rushing to finish to get back to work. It left us wondering, Who is his priority? Parents work very hard to provide, but at the end of the day we must evaluate what exactly are we providing our family? 

The memorable scene in the movie Courageous where the daughter asks her daddy to dance really convicted us to have Sanctified Time with our Family, to be fully present & participate, and block out the rest of the world from invading upon our time together. 

Christopher gets home at 6:30pm, and by 8:00pm, 8:30pm at the latest, Carissa is in bed sleeping, so this give us a very limited time to spend together as a Family. How do we keep these 1 1/2 to 2 hours Sacred, so that we can get the most out of this very limited & very available time together? It takes two courageous, and committed parents, as well as a wise child to insure our time together will be blessed. Each one of us must be dedicated to demonstrate how our family is Priority, only second to GOD, and each person willing to be strong to make necessary sacrifices to help create, maintain, and safeguard a Sacred Family Time.

How can a husband be resolved to be Courageous to protect the Sacred Family Time?

For Christopher it means that he does not bring any work with him home. That he is fully dedicated at the office, uses his time wisely, and finishes what he needs to for the day. He must have strong boundaries, so that the demands of his work world, although it often tries, can not invade our Sacred Family Time. People will call Christopher while he is on his way home from work. He has been convicted not to answer, and keep his full attention to the traffic on the road, so that he can make it home safe to the ones he loves. Once he gets home, while parked in the drive way he must make the decision if he is going to return the calls, or wait until later that night to return the call after our child has been tucked into bed, and while I am finishing up some work, as to not take away precious time from the ones he loves. It is also important that Christopher and I have Sacred Couple Time. 

Christopher struggles with being able to resist calling someone back in fear that something crucial has happened that someone needs his help to handle. Everyone knows him as "The Go To Man", so he is the first person many go to for help. He is also a great listener, so he struggles with making conversations short, and to the point. He boasted one time, "Hey I got my phone conversation down to 10 minutes!" Then I had to point out that is 10 minutes per person, so after talking to 6 different people that is 60 minutes, one hour of Family Time, you have given to others that you can not get back. One way to make sure that the demands of work doesn't invade upon Family Time is to make an objective assessment of the situation, Will the world come to and end if you don't complete that task tonight? Most things can wait till tomorrow, when we are back at the office. 

Last night, as Carissa was grading the cheese, Christopher was cutting the tomatoes, and I was finishing up heating up the tortillas we were all discussing how we enjoy doing things as a family, like preparing dinner together. Christopher and I just finished saying that Family Time is Sacred Time, and we both vowed that we would not let others invade it. That very second the house phone rang two separate times, one after the other, and the world was trying to invade. Our resolve was instantaneously being tested. I can laugh at it now, but at the time I was upset at those who were trying to invade.

Just hearing others leave messages distracts, deters, and ruins the special moments we were having as a family. The outside world was competing for our attention, focus, and committment.

Note to self: During Sacred Family Time, turn the ringer, and volume on the message machine off. These are the measures one must take in order to protect our Sacred Family Time from others who would interrupt, invade, and erode the time that is just for family. We must safeguard what we value, which means to eliminate unnecessary distractions & disruptions. After the house phone rings twice, then Christopher's cell phone rings twice, and then two texts on his cell phone come in. Now I could easily get angry at the invaders, and what they are trying to do, but it is not about them invading, it is about Christopher & I being Courageous to protect our Sacred Family Time.

There is a purpose to opposition, because it strengthens our spiritual muscle and resolve. Without a test, there can be no Testimony. If we are to achieve something sacred there must be a sacrifice, something we are willing to give up. So what are the things we had to give up? What was GOD trying to teach us in this moment of choice?

What we must learn to accept and apply to our life is that not everyone values what we value, nor do they value it at the same level we value it. Family Time is Sacred Time for our Family, but others don't see it that way, because they are not a member of our core family, so they don't have a problem interrupting our time. What is important to us is not important, or as important to them. Another reason that others will invade upon the Sacred Family Time is that they are apart of our extended family. Christ has taught us that Family is defined by Love, not biology, so as a result we have an extensive ever growing extended family. This fact alone is the reason it is so very important to keep our core family unit time Sacred. I assure you that we have not perfected this, but we are making progress. At times we stumble and fumble, but GOD's Amazing Grace & Divine Directive gets us back on track.

Where Christopher and I often error is that we think others think like us, meaning that no one would repeatedly call, and text during dinner time unless it was an absolute emergency of some kind, either personal or work related. Therefore out of great concern, and fear that some kind of emergency is happening Christopher returns the call just to find out that it was not an emergency at all. Today Christopher is explaining to his friends & colleagues that when he gets home it is Family Time. Work time is for work, and Family Time is for Family. Just like it is important to use his time wisely at work, he must use his time wisely at home. Christopher had to explain that you only leave multiple messages if it is a true emergency. While his friend's call & question was important & urgent because he had to make a decision right away, it was not an emergency. The friend could have made the decision on his own without calling Christopher, while he wanted Christopher's feedback he didn't need Christopher's feedback. While this friend wanted Christopher to help him to safe time, he was not concerned, or did not realize that he was taking Christopher away from enjoying his family time.

What our experience taught us last night was that we can not depend on others to see things the way we do, to value things the way we do, so we must be Dedicated & Determined to do whatever it takes to protect what we hold sacred, and have confidence that GOD's Approval is the only one that we desire to have, and that it is okay that others do not understand, comprehend or agree. It is also okay if others get upset, and think less of us.

Another thing is to know that GOD is taking care of the needs, and or concerns of others, and we do not have to make ourselves available 24/7 to everyone, because that is in GOD's job description, not ours.

Tonight is Friday night, and this Friday we are having Family Movie Night. We watch one movie with Carissa, then she gets tucked into bed, after prayers are said, and Mommy and Daddy watch our movie. Carissa's movie is, Horton Hears a Who? and we are going to set all cell phones, house phones, and message machines on silent, so we don't hear a peep or beep, and we can enjoy being with one another without any unnecessary interruptions & distractions.

Next week we will discus what a Wife & Mom can do in order to ensure that Family Time remains a Sacred Time.

Thank You Lord Jesus that You have shown us that we can not only say we want a Sacred Time, but that we must do what is necessary to protect our Sacred Time. That we can rest assured that with every sacrifice to protect what is Righteous and Sacred comes a Greater Blessing.